Okay, so a midget walks into a bar. The bartender says "Look, we don't serve midgets here." The midget says "Can you recite the Carmina Burana from memory?" The bartender thinks a minute and says "See that Californian over there? If you pull down your pants that Californian will take you into the back room and give you the best sex of your life."
The midget stands up and says "You're an asshole when you're drunk, Superman."