Queue (queue) wrote,

The first time I play a new game with a group of people also playing the game for the first time, I usually have an advantage. I'm very good at quickly assimilating the rules and figuring out interesting ways to take advantage of them. However, there are a number of people who can beat me in the long run, as their understanding of the intricacies of the game increases slowly but surely over time.

I think it's the same way with jobs. I can pick up the tasks of a job very quickly, but then I reach a point where I'm not developing any more. I either get bored with it, or I simply lack the organization and concentration to really get the most out of a job (and put the most into it) in the long term.

Or maybe it's all an elaborate (or not-so-elaborate, I guess) unconscious scheme to not have to challenge myself. The beginning parts come easy for me, but the long-term parts take a lot of work. If I keep moving on to different things, it's all beginning parts, and thus my life is easy. But an easy life is not a rewarding life.

My boss seems to have confidence in me that I can learn how to do all of this organization and juggling that is necessary for my job. I'm not as sure, but I think her continued confidence and support will continue to help motivate me to really work at becoming better at my job.

I'm two weeks away from having been here for a year. Someone recently noted to me that I tend to become disenchanted with jobs after about a year (although I think it is sometimes a lot sooner than that). I think I need to spend more time being reflective like this, because it helps to give me focus and possibly a little motivation. It certainly is better for the focus and motivation than spending my days working and watching TV.

I feel like I could spend some time polishing this entry a bit more, but it's served its purpose. Besides, I need to get back to work.
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