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Interesting - Queue
May 26th, 2004
01:27 pm

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Interesting
My last photography class is tomorrow. Our assignment is to photograph a stranger. Just walk up to them and ask to take their picture. So I brought my camera with me today. It took quite a bit of walking around before I was able to work up the courage to ask someone. I got two negative responses, then two positive responses, then another positive over in the Public Garden, then another negative. I ended up with 10 pictures, which I'm happy with. I might have gotten more except for the interesting bit.

After getting my last no, I walked up to this young woman who had just sat down at a bench and had pulled out what looked like a guide book. I asked, and she hesitantly said no. I said okay. I noticed that it was indeed a Boston guide book, so I asked if she had any questions about Boston.

"Yes," she said. "Do you know what park this is?"

I did indeed. She was trying to figure out how to walk to Cambridge, specifically to a place near the Science Park stop on the Green Line. She's from Milwaukee, graduated college last year, and spent the last seven months in France teaching English. She just got into Boston yesterday, and she has an interview tomorrow. She said she's looking for a home and that she's drawn to the East Coast for some reason. I got the idea that this wasn't the first city she's visited recently. After helping her look at a map in her guide book, I made to leave, telling her good luck and such.

"Um. You too," she said, smiling. I left. About three seconds later, I began thinking that maybe I should have asked her to dinner or something. Was her "um" an indication that she wanted me to do that? She was friendly. She probably appreciated having a friendly person chat with her in a new city. It took me a bit to decide to head back there.

Of course, she was gone by the time I did. I ended up trying to go up a few streets that she might have gone on, but I didn't see her.

Now, she did tell me which company she has an interview with tomorrow. I played out a scenario in my head where I call up the company, say that I chatted with someone interviewing there tomorrow (I don't even know her name!), and say that I accidentally walked away with a book of hers or something like that. Then I'd leave my phone number. I would never do that, though. Too shy and too honest to do something like that. I've also entertained the idea of hanging out in front of the company in the morning, hoping to see her. Does that seem too stalkerish? I mean, it would pretty much be my only opportunity to see her again. And it's a public place. I dunno. Any thoughts?

Seeing that movie last night kind of put me in a weird place, a place where I would actually consider doing something like this.

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From:jencallisto
Date:May 26th, 2004 11:08 am (UTC)
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i'd say leaving your phone number is less stalkerish than hanging out in front of the company, 'cause then at least she has the choice of whether or not to interact with you.
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From:queue
Date:May 26th, 2004 11:14 am (UTC)
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Definitely less stalkerish, but it feels kind of slimy to me. If this happened to you, do you think you would be put off by the fact that the guy is not telling the truth? I mean, I guess I could try telling the truth ("I met someone and didn't get a chance to get her name or phone number, but I wanted to leave a message for her to call me, and I know she's interviewing here tomorrow"), but, a) It seems less likely that they'd agree to pass along the message, and, b) It seems more likely to possibly affect her chances of getting a job, using her potential employer as an answering service.

I dunno. Thinking more about it, it does sound a bit too stalkerish to hang out there. Ugh, I don't know what to do.
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From:spwebdesign
Date:May 26th, 2004 11:12 am (UTC)
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You lost your opening, and it's probably best to mark this one up to experience. Based on what you wrote, I think it's likely you would have gotten her number if you had asked, but that's spilt milk now. Hanging out in front of the place she's interviewing, or calling to leave your number for her, or anything along those lines, is stalker-like and probably would freak her out.
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From:queue
Date:May 26th, 2004 11:18 am (UTC)
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But, see, I just don't talk to people I don't know. I actively avoid talking to people I don't know. So this is a really rare opportunity for me, one that's not likely to be repeated.

Getting confirmation that hanging out in front of the building is stalkerish is good to hear. I'll definitely not be doing that. But I'm still thinking about trying to leave a phone number. I mean, just leaving my phone number at that company won't cause any harm. I don't have any qay to contact her through them, not even knowing her name. I'm thinking I might just call the company tonight and leave a message. the worst that could happen is that they would call me back and mock me.
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From:spwebdesign
Date:May 26th, 2004 12:17 pm (UTC)
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I wouldn't contact the company. That's crossing a line you shouldn't cross.

I totally relate to your situation. I've been there. I'm not good at talking to people I don't know either. Hell, I'm not good at talking to people I *do* know.

If you absolutely had to see her, it's better, IMO, to appear stalkerish by waiting in front of the building she's interviewing at than it is to contact the company. If you're sincere and straightforward -- just explain that you enjoyed the conversation, went back to get her number but missed her, and was hoping to run into her there but was concerned she'd think you were a stalker -- it might work out. But do not do anything that could possibly negatively impact her job interview.
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From:queue
Date:May 26th, 2004 12:20 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I've decided to ditch trying to hunt her down. I'm taking theora's advice and posting to Missed Connections. I think I'm satisfied with having this be a learning experience.
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From:bubblebabble
Date:May 26th, 2004 05:01 pm (UTC)
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qay.


-bb, or is it only valid in posts?
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From:queue
Date:May 27th, 2004 05:35 am (UTC)
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Yes, only in posts. Good catch, though.
(Deleted comment)
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From:queue
Date:May 26th, 2004 11:20 am (UTC)
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Yes, I was definitely in movie mode when I was thinking about that. Stupid French movie! *shakes fist at France*
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From:theora
Date:May 26th, 2004 11:51 am (UTC)
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I think I'd be a bit freaked to have a (more or less) stranger call a potential employer of mine to try and hook up with me (which is how it might seem). Ditto the hanging out there trying to meet her.

How about putting up one of those "missed connections" ads on craigslist? Probably she won't see it, but you never know, particularly if she's looking for places to live here as well. Or in the Phoenix, maybe--I believe they have something similar (for a price, of course). And it's a bit less invasive, I think.
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From:theora
Date:May 26th, 2004 11:53 am (UTC)
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Well, more than a bit less invasive.
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From:queue
Date:May 26th, 2004 12:06 pm (UTC)
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Yeah.

Good idea.
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From:pinkdrummer
Date:May 26th, 2004 08:24 pm (UTC)

Good Luck

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Hey Kev,
good luck on the picking-up-chicks deal. I hope it works out. Don't get discouraged. Love ya.

p.s. Don't be a stalker, it decreases the whole sex appeal thing.
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