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April 8th, 2004
03:35 pm

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Gah, stupid tests

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From:majes
Date:April 9th, 2004 06:46 am (UTC)
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79% compatible. Hrmmm... I should be dating you.

Oh wait... it says that you're less kinky than me. Damn it. I should have known it was too good to be true.
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From:queue
Date:April 9th, 2004 06:51 am (UTC)
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Well, it says that hrafn is more kinky than I am, so maybe she would work out better for you . . .

(although it also says she's more optimistic than most. Hah!)
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From:majes
Date:April 9th, 2004 06:58 am (UTC)
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(although it also says she's more optimistic than most. Hah!)

It's all relative I guess. It's saying that she's more optimistic than people who are filling out the OKCupid info. Maybe that's true. In my (obviously more limited than yours) hrafn interactions, she comes across as being more optimistic than me, for certain, and quite probably more optimistic than a lot of folks I know. However, I know a lot of angry, negative people.
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From:queue
Date:April 9th, 2004 07:01 am (UTC)
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Maybe she's changed relatively recently? I dunno. I don't know her as well now as I used to. Back when I knew her well, she was so veyr not optimistic. But a lot seems to be going well fo rher lately, so maybe that's shiftng things.
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From:hrafn
Date:April 9th, 2004 07:40 am (UTC)
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You're confusing pessimism with realism and frustration. I've always been the optimist.
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From:hrafn
Date:April 9th, 2004 07:42 am (UTC)
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I might also add that, in certain regards, you actually know me a lot better now.
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From:queue
Date:April 9th, 2004 07:52 am (UTC)
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I guess I feel that I don't know you so well right now because I'm not really a part of your day-to-day life and you seem to be in a mode of change.
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From:hrafn
Date:April 9th, 2004 08:25 am (UTC)

this may get ranty, but

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*nod* Because of course knowing the minutiae of someone's every waking (and sleeping) moment = knowing someone well. As opposed to, say, having actual, meaningful conversations. /sarcasm

The way I look at it, I've been in a "mode of change" for - oh, let's call it four - four years now. It's just that some of it become more obvious the last year+.

But, yeah, I can see your point.
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From:queue
Date:April 9th, 2004 08:38 am (UTC)

Re: this may get ranty, but

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I guess it's that, before, I was aware of what changes you were going through. Now I find out about them second-hand, or at least I find out by being told rather than by seeing.

And, really, I've felt that I really haven't interacted with you much at all for the past several months, much less had meaningful conversations with you. Yes, there have been some email exchanges, but I guess I put a lot more weight on communications by voice (either in person or over the phone).
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From:hrafn
Date:April 9th, 2004 08:59 am (UTC)
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Well, on the occasions in the past few months when we have had realtime voice conversations, about what's going on, they've seemed (to me anyway) a lot more meaningful and useful and actually conversational than, well, many 100s of conversations in the previous n years.
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From:queue
Date:April 9th, 2004 09:06 am (UTC)
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Sometimes I really hate how my memory works. I don't really have anything useful to say, since I can't remember what sorts of conversations we had years ago. Um, yeah. Maybe we're having the same number of useful conversations, but we're just skipping all of the hundreds of broing conversations, since we only ever talk to each other if we've got something to say. Living together really had its down sides, huh? Of coruse, we're both different people now. I wonder if I'd be able to handle a live-in relationship better now than I did before. It may well be, but, of course, the ironic thing (not quite as ironic as ten thousand spoons) is that now I would much prefer to live alone. How fucked up is that? The time in my life where I'd better be able to deal with living with someone is the time in my life when I don't want to live with someone.
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From:hrafn
Date:April 9th, 2004 10:18 am (UTC)
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I don't really have anything useful to say, since I can't remember what sorts of conversations we had years ago. Um, yeah. Maybe we're having the same number of useful conversations, but we're just skipping all of the hundreds of broing conversations, since we only ever talk to each other if we've got something to say.

Well, I don't really remember a lot, either, but I think now, yeah, we don't have the boring ones (that I imagine are simply a fact of life when you live w/someone) any more. But it really does seem like there's more communication abuot important things than there used to be. And maybe some of that is that more care is taken now to pay attention to those things, because instead of having 10 short conversations about work/other people/etc., it gets condensed into one or two, and there aren't household-related distractions. Makes me wish I'd kept a more thorough journal over the years.

Living together really had its down sides, huh?

Yes.

Of coruse, we're both different people now.

Fundamentally, I don't feel any different. Just more certain.

I wonder if I'd be able to handle a live-in relationship better now than I did before.

Well, do you think you can handle "a relationship" better now than before? I think a lot of the same issues that come up w/a live-in SO are just different manifestations of the same issues that come up with any SO.

It may well be, but, of course, the ironic thing (not quite as ironic as ten thousand spoons)

More ironic, really - curse you, Alanis, forever confusing people about the appropriate use of ironic!

is that now I would much prefer to live alone. How fucked up is that? The time in my life where I'd better be able to deal with living with someone is the time in my life when I don't want to live with someone.

Just to be difficult: wanting to live alone seems a sure way to be less able to deal with living with someone ;) I suppose, though, the roommate situation has probably improved your living-with-others skills.
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From:bitty
Date:April 9th, 2004 07:36 am (UTC)
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I thought y'all were already dating? We found you out!
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From:majes
Date:April 9th, 2004 10:09 am (UTC)
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Having sex and dating are totally different things. I would think that you, of all people, would know that. Silly bitty.
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From:bitty
Date:April 9th, 2004 08:33 pm (UTC)
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Who, me? Purity, sweetness, and light, TYVM.
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