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Queue
February 7th, 2003
07:00 pm

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Change of plans
No dinner in Davis tonight. No Star Wars musical. And chalk up one lost friendship. I guess this is a year of firsts. First time getting dumped in January. First time someone telling me they don't want to be my friend because of who I am in February. I wonder what March has in store for me.

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From:cthulhia
Date:February 7th, 2003 04:50 pm (UTC)

hang in there

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although, I'm wary of anyone who would permanently cut you off right now, since you're undergoing major personal life changes and the accompanying transformatory processes. Who you are in February, even when you aren't facing such blatant external changes, isn't who you will be in March. Give them space for now, and see if things feel better in a few months or so.

Go play in the snow!
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From:treacle_well
Date:February 7th, 2003 04:59 pm (UTC)
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Oooo. Ouch. Hugs.

Oh, and what [Unknown LJ tag] said. Or something like it.

Take care.
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From:treacle_well
Date:February 7th, 2003 06:01 pm (UTC)
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Uh, that should be "what cthulhia said." Musta mispelled it, which would be the first time in a while (there was a time when I didn't trust myself to type her email address or LJ name manually but resorted to cut and paste).

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From:bitty
Date:February 7th, 2003 05:26 pm (UTC)
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I wonder what March has in store for me.

You might want to consider fleeing the country.

No, wait, there'll be a war out there. Scratch that. You can just extend February; it's always short-changed. Ignore March. Ides and all that. Oooh, be careful of knives. This could be messy.

*hugs*

-bitty, who's cursed month is October
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From:theora
Date:February 7th, 2003 06:23 pm (UTC)

Convenient

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Nice way to win sympathy, present a biased account of what happened, and everyone chimes in with *hugs* and "anytime you want to talk"s. Of course, what you neglect to mention is how you refuse to consider anyone viewpoint but yours, how you must have *everything* explained to you in terms that you understand, whether or not the matter is explicable in those terms, and how you won't even acknoledge the existence of any terms other than yours. How you, knowing that I was upset (even, as you put it, "somewhat upset") by an e-mail from my mother, argued with me about my own feelings instead of offering me any comfort, even the comfort that these people here are giving you right now.

I've just had to write back to my mother, and now I have to worry all night whether she's going to pop down a bottle of pills because I upset her so much, and it was either that or cave in to the kind of emotional blackmail that I've been experiencing since I was three, and now I have to get on livejournal and see your self-serving post. Is it any wonder at all that I don't think too highly of you right now?

If you didn't mean for me to see this, you would have posted it under a friends filter. I'm sure everyone's going to hate me for this (those who don't hate me already, that is), but fuck it. At least if you're going to post for sympathy, I can be allowed to present my side.
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From:treacle_well
Date:February 7th, 2003 07:42 pm (UTC)

Re: Convenient

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Nope, don't hate you for this. I'm not sure that queue was posting for sympathy. (I know I sometimes post stuff that gets me sympathy, whether I want it or not, but knowing that I'll probably get sympathy is not why I post it.)

For what it's worth, although I didn't know for sure who the friend queue mentioned was, I was not unaware that whoever it was was probably making a choice for reasons that probably were worthy of sympathy too, and that probably they didn't feel any better about having to end the friendship than queue likely felt about having it end. Offering hugs and sympathy and support to one person doesn't mean that one is entirely in agreement with that person or that one has no sympathy for another. I suspect that most of queue's friends who are reading his entry and your comment are not oblivious to the characteristics you cite as reasons for ending the friendship, and can even understand why someone would make a decision to pull back, and not assign blame.

I do sympathize with you over whatever happened. I don't feel close enough to you to offer hugs, but our paths have crossed sufficiently that I do feel sad about the hurt you are feeling. I feel bad both for you and for queue. But I also know this is none of my business, and shit happens, and although I feel supportive of queue as a friend, I'm not taking sides.

One more thing though. I, personally, believe that one's journal (public or not) is a perfectly appropriate place to post biased self-serving comments, but I don't assume that queue intent was to be biased or self-serving--just presenting a quick statement of something that happened, with a smidgen of implication that the something might have hurt.
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From:cthulhia
Date:February 8th, 2003 08:53 am (UTC)

agreed

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I generally find "what so-and-so said" comments a bit pointless if one doesn't have anything helpful to add. But, after this, saying nothing might imply lack of agreement. Saying more might unnecessarily involve me in a situation that is not mine, but strikes such similar chords that I will start reacting as it if were. And this *always* gets me into trouble.

So, um, what she said.

(Now back to reading about US misinformation per Iraq and friends prepping for triple-bypass surgery. sigh.)
[User Picture]
From:queue
Date:February 8th, 2003 05:50 am (UTC)

Re: Convenient

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I'm as free to make posts in my journal as you are not to read them.

I hope things work out with your mother. I hope that maybe this can be the start of a change for the better in your relationship with her. I'm proud of you for sending the email. That probably doesn't mean that much to you right now, but it's true.

For what it's worth, I hope that we can some day be friends again. Until then, keep the CD. It's fitting that it's Wish You Were Here.
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From:majes
Date:February 8th, 2003 07:27 am (UTC)

No hate here

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No hard feelings from here either; I hope that this can be worked out one way or the other. From a completely selfish point of view, I was enjoying have you periodically kick my ass in whatever game we were playing together. I'd like to imagine that I'm going to suffer that fate again going into the future.
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