September 22nd, 2003

wwjb

Dream

I had a dream that I woke up, checked the computer, and saw on the news that 17,500 Palestinians had been killed. The details were still sketchy, but it appeared that they were killed in their sleep by some sort of gas that the Americans released. It looked pretty clear that the Americans had done it, but it wasn't clear if they had done it on purpose or not. I was comparing that number (weird that the number was so clear) to the number of people who died on Septmeber 11th. If there was such a huge response to September 11th, what would the response to this be like?
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oscar

I'm done

I'm done dealing with people for this week. I've used up my quota.
sideways naked

I am not a writer

I enjoyed Writing Down the Bones. However, one point sticks out at me. For a lot of the exercises, she talks about writing about something that happened in the past, putting in lots of details and such. I have problems even coming up with general outlines for many events in the past (if I even remember that they happened at all). There's no way I could bring up little details.

I'm not sure if this is a defect in my brain, or perhaps a coping mechanism. As has been noted, when I get upset, it usually fades pretty quickly. Holding onto something for several hours, and noting that that is an unusually long time for me to hold onto something, really drives home the point. I guess it makes me generally happier or something, but it really doesn't help me deal with people who don't work that way. And it really sucks not being able to remember things that happened several years ago, or even several months ago.

So, I don't think I really have a writer's brain. That's not going to stop me from trying to write, but it . . . just . . . eh, I don't really know. I wrote this morning. I like the feeling I get from sitting down and making myself write for 10 minutes, just keep the pen moving, no matter what, don't go back and look at previous stuff. I think I'll try to keep that up. maybe it will do me some good at some point. Maybe it will help train my brain to be better.
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