November 19th, 2002


Well, that was unexpected

I had a voice mail from my boss this morning. She called after I left yesterday, saying that she had meant to meet with me yesterday about extending my contract but had gotten bogged down in meetings. So we just met now.

I had expected that it would be about extending the contract for the current stuff, since it is certainly behind schedule. It turns out that it's for a more general editorial position, most likely involving technology products (e-books, PowerPoint slides, stuff like that), probably some proofreading and such. It would start nowish and go through until June. This position opened up because someone unexpectedly resigned due to an upcoming baby. So, I guess I would still be doing the stuff I'm doing now until it's done, but I would stay on and start doing the other stuff.

She said she'd like to know in a week or so if it's something I'd seriously consider or not. I wanted to take some time to think about it, but I'm pretty sure that I'll take it. It's really hard to pass up guaranteed employment, since I don't really know what other kind of job I could find. Also, it sounds like it would be some interesting stuff, stuff I haven't done before. And it seems that they appreciate me, which is something I haven't often felt in a job, certainly not at Prentice Hall. And there is absolutely no chance that I would be actually writing textbooks, since they don't do that stuff here. The writing is done by outside contactors. The whole writing part was what I really didn't like about my job at Prentice Hall. So, it sounds like I'd get to do some proofreading stuff and also some planning/brainstorming stuff, which is also appealing. Really, that's what I need to be doing: be involved in theplanning and in the fixing, and leave the meat of the development work to someone else.

So, I think this could be good. I think I will tell my boss later this week that it's something that I would seriously consider. So, we'll see.

(no subject)

I've got a question someone asked me rolling around in my head in the form of Jim Infantino reading it for his napkin poetry stuff, repeating it in many different ways, with the emphasis on different words, slightly rhythmical, with the drum and bass in the background. It's like I'm trying to find more meaning in the question, explore what it really means to me, what it could mean on different levels. And stuff. Or something.

Since seeing Jim live, I sometimes find that lyrics that I write (not that I've written many) sound like him singing them when I hear them in my head.

(no subject)

So, I've been here for three hours. I guess it's time to do some work. Still the same problem as yesterday, though: no work to do. I guess I'm going to do the stuff that will involve re-copying or something. Or maybe it won't, I dunno. In any case, I don't think I would feel too good about not doing any work today. Plus, if I'm actually doing work, I'll feel okay about putting the headphones on and listening to the radio.

More Googlism (

My current name produces no results with Googlism, so I tried my former name.

kevin jackson is a writer

The first one. What would my life have been like had I remained Kevin Jackson? It certainly would have been very different. I was already in ROTC when I first got on the path that would take me away from being Kevin Jackson. Would I have stayed in ROTC? Or would I have gotten out sooner? If I had stayed in ROTC, I would have just finished up my four-year commitment last year. Maybe I would have ended up at a base somwhere in Ohio. I wonder what I would be doing now, assuming I managed to not get kicked out of the Air Force. If I had gotten out of ROTC sooner, would I have stayed in school? Probably. What the hell would I have done then? Maybe gotten a job at Tektronix or another Portland tech company. I don't think I would have been any sort of writer, as much as I like to think that some alternate-me is having a happy writing career.

The biggest influence on my adult life has been that path away from Kevin Jackson. I have grown and changed much, mostly (completely?) for the better, since I started on that path. Maybe I would have gone through some of those positive changes had I not gone on that path, but I really think that the particular circumstances of that path are what made me who I am today. I am so grateful for the many opportunities I have had over the past nine years to be challenged and to grow.

And now I'm going on a different path. And even though I know it's for the best, I'm really going to miss you. My best friend, my wife.

(after a break to get rid of most of the tears and the snot)

Well, that didn't turn out at all like I expected. Are there really people who know exactly what they're going to say when they start a journal entry, and they end up writing exactly that?

So, I think these changes are going to be hitting me more slowly. Well, at least I don't have to worry about the guilt of not feeling so bad about things.