Queue (queue) wrote,

My first poem

Well, some more thorough searching yielded my journal. So, you all get to see my very first poem that I ever wrote.

Let me set the scene. April 10th, 1992, I'm 15 years old, on a spring break trip to France with the French club at school. We're somewhere that's not Paris at this point (would have to read through the journal to find out, and I can only take so much of 15-year-old me), and I wrote the poem on some random piece of paper (now lost) in my hotel room fairly late at night. I transcribed it into my journal the next day. I was angsting over a girl who was on the trip, who I was trying to have a "relationship" with before I even knew anything about her (I was really dumb in high school, but weren't we all?). Rereading it, I see that I missed a couple of lines when I recited it from memory to cthulhia. This is the one that she claims could be set to music rather well. And, despite how the poem sounds, I have never in my life seriously contemplated suicide. Informal polling of friends throughout the years suggests that this is not necessarily the norm among the type of people I generally hang out with.

My fucking name
is fucking hell
I fucking know
too fucking well
that fucking you
just fucking hate
my fucking guts
I fucking do
not fucking care
if fucking I
am fucking dead
the fucking world
was fucking good
with fucking me
not fucking there
to fucking fuck
all fucking things
to fucking hell
I fucking wish
my fucking heart
would fucking stop
the fucking end
Tags: poetry
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