Queue (queue) wrote,

More Googlism

My current name produces no results with Googlism, so I tried my former name.

kevin jackson is a writer

The first one. What would my life have been like had I remained Kevin Jackson? It certainly would have been very different. I was already in ROTC when I first got on the path that would take me away from being Kevin Jackson. Would I have stayed in ROTC? Or would I have gotten out sooner? If I had stayed in ROTC, I would have just finished up my four-year commitment last year. Maybe I would have ended up at a base somwhere in Ohio. I wonder what I would be doing now, assuming I managed to not get kicked out of the Air Force. If I had gotten out of ROTC sooner, would I have stayed in school? Probably. What the hell would I have done then? Maybe gotten a job at Tektronix or another Portland tech company. I don't think I would have been any sort of writer, as much as I like to think that some alternate-me is having a happy writing career.

The biggest influence on my adult life has been that path away from Kevin Jackson. I have grown and changed much, mostly (completely?) for the better, since I started on that path. Maybe I would have gone through some of those positive changes had I not gone on that path, but I really think that the particular circumstances of that path are what made me who I am today. I am so grateful for the many opportunities I have had over the past nine years to be challenged and to grow.

And now I'm going on a different path. And even though I know it's for the best, I'm really going to miss you. My best friend, my wife.

(after a break to get rid of most of the tears and the snot)

Well, that didn't turn out at all like I expected. Are there really people who know exactly what they're going to say when they start a journal entry, and they end up writing exactly that?

So, I think these changes are going to be hitting me more slowly. Well, at least I don't have to worry about the guilt of not feeling so bad about things.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.